Running Toward Myself

Is Good Enough EVER Enough?

"Never give anything less than your best." 

~ lots of people

Hmmmm. Makes you think, doesn't it? On the surface this is such a harmless quote intended to inspire you to work harder, do more, be better. You could read this in a book, think to yourself, "Yeah, that's a really great idea," and move on. Possibly you'll embrace it a bit more fervently and be extra diligent at work that day, run a little harder during your workout that evening, or even fold that basket of laundry you've been avoiding for a few days. Doing all of those things would certainly be closer to your best than if you had simply settled for the mediocre. And that is admirable. Certainly. Good job, inspirational quote....way to inspire the masses!

Maybe it's just me, but the older I get the more deeply I examine inspirational quotes and phrases like these. This seemingly innocent quote (and all those out there just like it) has, over the years, gone from innocent to incendiary...from motivational to maddening. Think about it. How oppressive is it to wake up each morning and think to yourself, "Today I must be better than I was yesterday but not quite as good as I'm going to be tomorrow. If I screw up today, well, I'm screwed, cause yesterday was pretty darn stellar." I don't know about you, but that right there, at this point in my life,  is enough to make me pull the covers back over my head and cry. That's a lot of pressure, people! Each and every day I've got to be better, stronger, faster, fitter? More loving, more patient? Healthier, prettier? NICER?

Right now, I'm in what some might call a training lull. As in, I've not really been in training for anything specific since mid-May. For the first time in many, many years I'm adrift in the sea of fitness with no goal-race to guide my path. And then I read a quote like this and, instead of motivating me, it really ticks me off. I mean,  I certainly know that I am not giving my best during each and every workout. Hah. Not. Even. Close. Does this mean I might as well throw in the towel, then, if I'm going out and giving considerably less than my best? Does this mean I shouldn't even bother? If I am a literal person, then yes, it does.

Can you reach a point where the drive to be the very best you can be in all aspects of your life each and every day loses its importance? Is being okay with being just okay a slippery slope to sloth-dom or is it an acceptable state of affairs for a season of your life? Is going out and running 25-30 miles a week with no attention to pace or progress acceptable when you know you are capable of more? ARGH!



This is where I am. Just call me cynical I guess, but there are days wherein just getting out the door, being mentally present for work, and eeking out a decent sweat during a workout is a pretty large achievement, let alone doing it BETTER than yesterday and doing it to the BEST of my absolute ability. Call me crazy, but some days, some weeks, heck, maybe even some MONTHS this is all I can hope for...to just do it. Whether it was better than yesterday is inconsequential. Just doing it without succumbing to the pressure of it all is a success.

I know that, realistically, I am probably just feeling a bit inferior to all the people I know and meet who are doing amazing things, training for amazing events, or achieving unthinkable things in both their personal and professional lives when here I sit spinning my proverbial wheels...mired down in the mud of my complacency.  It seems like everywhere I turn someone is starting a business, going back to school, getting their dream job, training for a marathon, or training for an Ironman. An IRONMAN! Heck, just the other day I met a parent of one of my new cross country runners who nonchalantly mentioned her training plan for an upcoming Ironman (um, yeah...of COURSE she's run Boston, too. Of course.). Is there no escape from the awesomeness of people these days? Where are all the settle-ers like me?

Just. Can't. Get. Out.

Tell me it's just a phase, that I'm going to find some focus, sign up for a race that challenges me beyond measure, and get with it. Tell me I'm still a "real" athlete who can take on a big goal and not back down. Tell me that I can, once again, wake up in the morning ready to beat down the day in front of me. Tell me I still have BETTER and BEST in me and that, pretty soon, this period of simply GOOD ENOUGH is going to be a mere glitch in the film of the movie that is my life. And tell me that, if it's not, it's still all gonna be okay. It WILL be okay, won't it? Won't it?


See You on the Run....I think....