The last few weeks have been so utterly enjoyable that I really haven't even cared one bit that my training (for what, really, I have no clear picture of yet) has suffered supremely. A visit back home followed by 10-days with our nephew Liam here in Atlanta, then completed with a wonderful July Fourth holiday with Adam's cousin and her family from DC, made the span between June 15th and July 5th fly faster than a B52 bomber.
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| How cute IS he? |
One thing I figured out quickly during Liam's stint here with is that I am firmly, steadfastly, 100% sure of our decision not to have children. Now, please do not take that as any reflection upon Liam himself, because as far as kids go, he's a pretty awesome one. I was so impressed that a five-year old could actually survive 10-days with an an aunt and uncle who live 12 hours away who have no real clue about what being parents entail. His adaptability was amazing, and I give him props for staying so brave while so far away from home!
The reason I'm now so entrenched in the surety of our decision was the sheer and utter toll it took on both the GERMinator and me to have our schedules so thoroughly altered by the mere presence of the little guy. And he can actually feed himself, go to the potty alone, and clothe himself...for the most part. What in the name of Sweet Baby Ray would we do with a miniature version of of him (read here: BABY) in our possession (care?) 24/7/365 (that's all the freaking time)!?!?
Did we have fun? Sure we did. We went to the pool and the park and the library and the movies and the Varsity...who in her right mind doesn't have fun doing those things for an entire week? But having a kid, your OWN kid, isn't about all that fun stuff alone. It's about all of that other stuff that bit-by-bit starts to eat away at your previously highly-functioning brain cells: cartoons, cereal, being nice, being quiet in the morning, walking slowly, taking forever to get anywhere because you have to buckle in a booster seat every time...and the list goes on and on The one thing that I EXPECTED to suffer was the time I had to work out. And that it did. No more getting up in the morning, rolling out of bed, and hitting the road. No more three-hour stints at the gym with time to relax in the sauna after my obscenely long shower.
I can give all of this up for a week...maybe two....to enjoy having our nieces and nephews and friends' children around. However, as a lifestyle choice? Not. For. Me.
And that is what it is in my book....a lifestyle choice. At times, I find it rather unnerving at the freedom other women feel to ask me, "When are you having kids?" And then, when I share our plans for non-procreating, "Why not?" Now, in all the years I have been a woman (um, all of them?), I have never once asked a mother, "Why did you choose to have your kid?" Of course that would be inappropriate, wouldn't you say? Essentially it all comes down to that one word....CHOICE. Many women, the vast majority in fact, CHOOSE to have children. I, and many other women, CHOOSE to NOT. It is a CHOICE. Not an affliction. Not a disease. A CHOICE.
In a day-and-age where God's instruction to "...go forth and multiply," is more figurative than literal as we are no longer forced to birth a brood to run our farms or hoping to simply populate the earth with hopes of extending civilization, in my book the decision TO have children is just as personal and selfish as the decision NOT TO have children. Both choices are worthy ones but are, make no mistake, self-serving at their core. Mothers have a desire to have someone to love, to have someone who loves them, to perpetuate their family name, to smarten-up the gene pool....any reason is perfectly justifiable in my book as long as they can support and care for their offspring. It's not my business really. And yes, I admit it...my reasons for not having children are selfish to the bone: it's a lot of work, it's ridiculously expensive, it's a lot of work, it cramps my style, it's a hugiferous and monumental responsibility to humanity, it's a lot of work.
My point in writing this is simple: Respect One Another's Decisions. Because, at the crux, that's all parenthood really is...a decision. The biggest and most important decision you could make in your life, actually. It's a choice. I choose my way. You choose yours. And then we both live with those choices. Kinda like buying a car, huh (yeah....that was totally a joke....I mean, you can RETURN a car crazy)...I guess I should probably get back to writing about runnin' and racin' soon so that I don't alienate ALL of the people who may happen upon this blog. I'll do that with my Peachtree Road Race report this week.
Disclaimer: this post was meant in no way to offend anyone. Especially anyone I actually know in real life :)
See you on the run (stroller-less!)...
1 comment:
I don't have kids myself and find that the question about kids comes less frequently as you get older. People still ask so you just kind of develop a short answer about it and they move on. Me answer is usually just a jokey "they are too much work". There was a stretch in my 30s where it seemed I was surrounded by people who had kids, no childless couples to be found. Now, I think I know more people without kids or maybe I am just more aware of it.
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