Running Toward Myself

Where Do I Go From Here?




Once again, I find myself in those unchartered waters, those scary uncertain times wherein one Big Race has ended and there isn't another one on the schedule. I suppose this is why certain prepared individuals (those diligent and dedicated athletes whose blogs I incessantly read) actually plan for an entire calendar year at a time.  Ergo, they do not wake to one day find themselves aimlessly training with no guidepost with which to mark their course. I, on the other hand, apparently scoff in the face of this type of preparedness.

However, I must admit, I am enjoying these few weeks of unfocused exploration. Generally I tend to run too much and rest too little in the interim periods between training cycles. Last week I was amazingly proud of myself for running only 14 miles while at the same time getting in some nice mileage on the bike and three sessions in the pool. This triathlon training has taught me many things, the most important of which is that higher running mileage does not equal improved fitness. Nope. It only allows me to run longer runs.

With triathlon training, that isn't necessarily the goal, and at first it was uber hard for me to give up my normal 30+ mile weeks in my running journal. Now that I am more confident in sports other than running, it is easier to hear my body and listen to what it is telling me. If I head out on a run (for example, last night) and my legs are sore and heavy, I now am more willing to listen to my legs, not scold them like crazy-psycho-runner Charity used to do. Below is an example of a conversation I've had many times with myself during various training runs throughout the years:

Legs - "Yo, dummy, I hurt. Like, seriously, pain."

Charity - "Shut. Yo. Mouf."

Legs - "Listen, lady. Yesterday you made me run 8 miles. You did not drink your chocolate milk to help me recover. You didn't stretch. Not smart. I'd like to walk now."

Charity - "Shut. Yo. Mouf."

Legs - "Okay. Fine. I will keep running. And I will keep hurting. Live with it."

Charity - "Bout time."

Okay, that's not exactly verbatim. I may have wielded my literally license a little, but you get the point. Lately, however, this scene has been much, much different. My legs and I haven't had to argue as much since I've been giving them more of a break. They do still get tired and sore, mind you, especially as I try new things. But now, when they start to bark at me, our conversations are a bit different. Something more like this:

Legs - "Yo, dummy, I hurt. Like, seriously, pain."

Charity - "Really? Hmmm. Wonder what caused that. Let's try to go a bit farther."

Legs- "Yep. Still hurtin' down here. This lactic acid isn't moving anywhere. Give it a rest, will ya?"

Charity - "Okay. Let's walk and see what the problem is."


Notice the difference? My legs are no longer talking to a stubborn, irrational, mileage-crazed woman. Nope. They are talking to someone who realizes what she's asking of her body...someone who realizes the amazing gift these legs (and ankles and arms and back and etc...) are giving her. And you know what else? She appreciates it. She appreciates every ounce of energy and power and propulsion those muscle fibers and those bones of her give her...and she's ready to treat them with the respect they deserve.

But the question still remains...Where do I go from here? Now that my legs ( and really my entire body) and I have established a happy friendship, I don't want to screw it up. However, I need a goal as I suspect that, just as in any relationship, if I don't keep things new and fresh our bond will grow stale and we will begin to resent one another for holding one another back. I fear that committing to another marathon would put our relationship back on rocky footing. At least I know my ankle would wage a pretty stiff protest. So, no fall marathon for a third year in a row. I know that I can convince the ankle to stick by me for at least a half marathon....or two...or three...so those will probably make the cut. But...what do I focus on in the here and now?

I guess the only real answer is to face down my fear and get back in the water...open water...that is. June, for me, will be the month when I find out if the triathlon is something I'm going to embrace or a one-time shot. Indianapolis iChallenge Sprint Triathlon on June 24th seems as good a time and place as any to get my focus back once and for all....whether that focus be on triathlons or strictly running. The answer will be revealed back home again where it all started. So, for another month, I am a triathlete in training. Let's do this.