Running Toward Myself

When Your Problems are Bigger Than You 

Recently I've been struggling. Not necessarily with the motivation or will to complete my workouts, but with the stamina it takes to get myself through them. I've been at a major loss as to the precise reasons for this muscle fatigue and general tiredness that has been running along with me, clinging to my back, clawing at my every stride. Simply maintaining a pace that, just a few months ago, would have been considered a relatively easy one seems to leave me spent, forcing me to stop, regroup, and lament my lack of ability to just suck it up and push through. I've managed to keep a respectable mileage total for the past few weeks, averaging 25-30 miles. However, each of those weeks has been progressively more difficult when, one would deduce, they should be getting easier. I've even started doing hot yoga in order to address the extreme muscle fatigue...or so I THOUGHT it would address that particular aspect of my discomfort. However, no dice. Not only has it not relieved my muscles mayhem, but it has only exacerbated it, leaving me so sore for the next two days that I can hardly stand the pain of running....the whole reason I  went to yoga in the first place!

On one level I realize that I do have bigger issues at play with my thyroid imbalances at this moment, but these new annoyances seem to go beyond the effects I've experienced from this before. And I'm exasperated. At the end of my proverbial rope. What, then, is the most logical thing to do when you just can't take it any more, when the pain of running becomes more than the pleasure you are garnering from it? Well, I can tell you what NOT to do. Do NOT do a Google search for "muscle fatigue + exercise." That's what you DON'T do. Because, if you do, you'll learn that you might be over-trained. You may even have Cronic Fatigue Syndrome. Heck, you may even have cancer. So, save yourself the worry and don't go that route. Because, of course, a smart, educated, researcher like me would NEVER do such a thing. Nope. NEVER. Considering that I'd NEVER do that, I can choose to do one of two things. First, I can choose to push on, maintaining what fitness I do have without regards to pace, focusing solely on effort and time. This seems to be a good option as I do not wish to loose the fitness I've worked hard to maintain and put myself in jeopardy of not being able to compete in the races I already have committed to on my schedule. Second, I can ease off, stop running, and see if the pain goes away. I assume it will, but if I choose this path then not only do I lose fitness, but I risk being in exactly the same spot in a few weeks, with sore muscles and LESS fitness. I find it incredibly interesting that I'd more than likely find as many people who advocate the first option as I would who advocate the second. Of course, I'm assuming the dividing line would fall between the athletes and non-athletes, but not necessarily. Believe me, I've learned the value of rest. I even took ample rest time this past December while I enjoyed and reveled in all things Holiday. However, what scares me most in this particular instance, I believe, is that I honesty, deep-down, feel that if I take time off now, the pain will still be there to welcome back once I return to running. That's a very, very scary situation. If rest is the great equilizer, then what happens when it has been neutralized and rendered powerless? This pain, right here, in my legs right now? It's in control. Or out-of-control, and I'm still at a loss for how to take my own body back from it.